Lucifer, S2 E10 “Quid Pro Ho”
Written by Ildy Modrovich and Julia Fontana
Directed by Nathan Hope
“Apologize your ass off! Or next time she might blow that up.”
If you thought you had family drama, this week’s Lucifer must have made you feel better. Lucifer’s Mum is so intent on driving Lucifer and Decker apart and going home that she slept with Decker’s ex, planted a bomb under her car, represented the man who killed Decker’s father at his murder trial, and tried to bribe Decker to betray Lucifer. Lucifer and Decker aren’t even together yet, and they’ve already got serious in-law problems. Happy Thanksgiving! This year I am thankful that The Goddess of All Creation is not my mother-in-law.
The show opens with Mum lurking in an alleyway holding the detonator that will blow up Decker’s car with Decker in it. Amenadiel tries to stop her from pushing the button, but she jacks him up like he’s a rag doll. Amenadiel convinces Mum that Lucifer must decide to return home without Decker of his own accord. Mum, however, is not satisfied with that and proceeds to come up with ways to drive the two apart. Adding to the weight of family problems, Decker’s own high maintenance mother Penelope is in town to attend the trial of the shady prison warden who arranged Decker’s father’s murder.
Boris, the Russian mobster who provided fall guys to confess to crimes committed by others, is supposed to be the key witness in the trial against the prison warden. His head’s not in the game, though; it’s sitting in a box on Detective Douche’s desk, sent by person or persons unknown. That’s the first sign that the trial will not go well. The second occurs when Mum strolls in and takes her place beside her new client – the warden. Though Lucifer charms a female juror and the female judge and everybody else in the courtroom, it all falls apart when Mum forces him to disclose that Decker was the first cop to arrive at the scene where the man who confessed to her father’s murder died. That makes it look like Decker, with the collusion of the LAPD, set up the warden for the crime.
Ella, the amazing crime scene tech, discovers that Boris’s head was cut off with a meat slicer, and she even knows exactly which one it is. She also figures out before anyone else that Detective Douche slept with Lucifer’s Mum, which she did to get intel for the trial. While I would love it, Ella is probably overqualified to come to my house and find all the missing socks that keep disappearing from my laundry.
Decker and Lucifer take turns testifying on the stand to how much they respect each other. So far, this seems to be the only way that they can admit their feelings.
This is Maze’s week! Amenadiel tries to remove Mum’s bomb from Decker’s car but Maze catches him in the act. He pretends nothing’s going on, but she sees right through him. Under the cover of a kiss she swipes the detonator from his pocket and blows up his car. That’s just the beginning of a very fun day for her. Detective Douche, Lucifer, and Maze go to the Chinese Community Center to find the big scary Asian dude who sliced off Boris’s head. Maze has a great time turning everything Detective Douche says about Mum into an innuendo about their night of passion. Immediately upon arrival, they offend the Triad. Detective Douche confesses that Mum found out from him that Decker was first on the scene… during a night of passion. The ensuing rumble takes them right through the wall of the community center. So, in order to get out of trouble and to get the name of the man who killed Boris, Lucifer makes a deal with the female head of the Tong. Maze has to fight Kang: if she wins, they get the name of Boris’s assassin. If they lose, they die… except Lucifer. Of course, immortal Lucifer relishes pointing this out to Douche.
Maze has so much fun with this! She manages to imitate both Bruce Lee and Keanu Reeves while kicking Kang’s ass. Little did Kang know that he was fighting the actual demon from so much of Chinese mythology. No matter how long the line was for the Maze audition, I’d have waited to get the part. This just proves that there ought to be a spinoff, Maze.
Unfortunately, when the three arrive at the address given by the Tong, the assassin is already dead. He’s seated at a table across from Boris, or at least Boris from the neck down. Killing Boris constituted freelance work, which the Triad does not tolerate. That means that now there is no way to tie the warden to the murder of Decker’s father, or to the murder of Boris. The case falls apart, and the warden walks free. He enjoys his freedom for only a matter of hours. Detective Douche makes up for leaking information to Mum by leaking information to the Russian mob. Detective Douche makes sure that the Russian mafia knows that the warden is responsible for Boris’s death. He confronts the warden outside a strip club, just before a van full of thugs with guns throw a hood over the warden’s head and drive off with him at gunpoint.
The big reveal this week is that Amenadiel and Decker’s mother Penelope have met before. 35 years ago, God sent Amenadiel to bless a childless couple with a baby. Amenadiel recognizes Penelope as the mother of that baby. Amenadiel and Mum figure out that that means that Daddy not only arranged for Decker and Lucifer to meet; he arranged for Decker to exist.
Always scheming, Mum tells Amenadiel that she can still use Decker to get Lucifer to return home. She doesn’t tell him how; that will have to wait until after the holiday hiatus. The episode ends with Decker and Lucifer heading towards a kiss. Will they finally get together, only to be driven apart?
Lucifer always contains a lot of snappy dialogue so it is often difficult to choose just one quote. To tide you over during the holiday break, here are the runners up this week:
“I’m the devil, of course I speak Chinese. I speak everything.”
“I wish I could say that I was surprised Maze blew up your car, but she is – Maze.”