Lucifer, S2 E16: “God Johnson”
Written by Jason Ning
Directed by Sherwin Shilati
“Augh, I’ve seen your Mom dress sluttier than this.”
This week begins with Lucifer in Dr. Linda’s office but it’s Dr. Linda who has some issues, all about Lucifer’s plan to open the gates of heaven and shove Mum in so Mum and Dad can destroy each other. She doesn’t think it will work out well for humanity. No kidding. Kind of like most humans and insects, most of our car grills are coated in former living beings, and how many of us give it a second thought? All-powerful beings are not going to worry too much about a few squished humans.
This week’s murder victim was bashed in the head with a backgammon board and found on the floor of the insane asylum by none other than God, or at least an inmate who thinks he’s God. So, while Decker and Douche are trying to comply with the asylum red tape to be able to speak with God, Lucifer just casually walks into the room with God and chats him up. Lucifer is sure the man is not God and conducts the conversation in his usual condescending manner. But, as he leaves the room, God calls him Samael which makes him do a double-take and changes his mind. The fact that God is backlit by the sunlight slipping in through the venetian blinds behind him is a nice touch.
Lucifer decides the best way to get to the bottom of this case is to get himself committed to the asylum, but claiming to be the Devil is not enough. The asylum is full up and the desk clerk states that the only way he’s getting in is if he is a danger to others. So, Lucifer grabs the clerk’s collar and smashes his face against the reception window and says, “how’s that?” He’s in.
As soon as he gets in, he finds God holding a woman by the throat and presumes he has solved the murder and God is a fraud. Then, he realizes that God is actually saving the woman and watches as the blood that was gushing from the woman’s slit throat actually flows back into her throat and her throat heals. Lucifer says, “it really is you…you son of a bitch,” and punches God right in the nose.
Lucifer does get the woman who God saved to tell him who attacked her and she says that it was none other than, wait for it, Santa Claus. It is a mental institution, after all. After looking for a suspect who looks somewhat like Santa Claus, we find out that it is just a regular, though homicidal, person in a Santa Claus suit.
Lucifer finally gets the chance to tell God face to face about all the hells He has put Lucifer through, from being thrown into hell for all eternity to arranging for him and Decker to be together. God seems unperturbed by Lucifer’s problems but is God-smacked when Lucifer divulges that the Godess of all Creation is here as well. It seems that God still has a thing for her. Lucifer decides to use this to his advantage realizing that he doesn’t need to shove Mum into heaven to get Mum and Dad to destroy each other. He can just put them together right here on earth.
So, Lucifer gets Dr. Linda to help him break Dad out of the institution. When she stops hyperventilating, brown paper bag and all, after meeting God and trying to bow down in his presence, she actually helps break them out. The break out only occurs after Lucifer creates a diversion in the form of all his fellow inmates dropping their inhibitions and unleashing a full-on frenzied fruitcake festival. So, Lucifer gets Dad out of the loony bin and sets up a meeting with Mum at Lux. After Dad charms Mum and Mum realizes that it is Dad, Mum follows her passions and… knees him in the groin. God’s response is to drop to the dance floor like a rock. When he recovers, he seems so serene and apologetic that Mum does eventually let down her guard and they dance and embrace. Enter Decker and uniformed officers who take Lucifer and Dad back to the asylum.
Back at the asylum, Lucifer and Dad are both drugged, bound and abducted by the killer in the Santa Claus suit. Only the drugs seem to have no effect on Dad. They effect Lucifer because Decker is nearby. Dad recognizes Santa as a nurse (not Ratchet) at the facility. It appears that the inmates are not the only loonies at the asylum. Nurse Ratchet decides to use Dad’s belt to strangle him but when she takes it off, he loses all knowledge of recent events and forgets that he is God. Decker and Co. arrive in the nick of time to save Lucifer and Dad non-God while Lucifer realizes that the belt buckle is in some way divine and pockets it. Back at Lux, Lucifer and Amenadiel realize that the belt buckle is actually part of the flaming sword and feel that they are that much closer to realizing their original plan for getting back into heaven.
At the end of the episode, Lucifer says goodbye to non-God and reaffirms his hate for God because he realizes that God would never have treated him as kindly and non-God. Oh, my God!